Guest Blog Post by Gail Kasper, Top 1% Club Expert. I have recently partnered with the Top 1% Club where I am featured as an expert in their Newsletter and Website. Not only will you be able to view additional articles from me, but you will also have the opportunity to learn from the Top 1% Club Mentor, Gail Kasper, one of the nation’s leading professional speakers, a television commentator, and a life and business Coach. Membership is FREE and by joining now, you will be eligible to receive a complimentary set of Gail’s new books.

Failure To Communicate? How to Recognize & Fix It

By Gail Kasper, Author and Mentor of the Top 1% Club (www.gailkasper.com)

As a professional speaker and life coach, I often get question after question with regard to communication and how to do it effectively. Do you find yourself often frustrated because you “say” one thing but people “hear” something else? Do you waste a lot of time explaining the same information over and over again? Does there seem to be a “disconnect” between you and your co-workers, employees, managers, family members or friends? If so, then you have a failure to communicate.

Here are common ways people don’t communicate effectively:

1. Sending memos and emails that are way too short and filled with errors, making the message unclear to the recipient;
2. Assuming the listener already knows the context of a conversation and failing to fill in pertinent information.
3. Giving confusing messages, such as saying, “If you could get this to me at your earliest convenience, that would be great,” when you really mean, “I want this by noon.”
   
4. Incorrectly assuming the listener understood what was just said.

Have you found yourself making these communication mistakes? If so, be our guest on the Top 1% Club website where we’ve posted 50 Ways To Fix Communication Mistakes: Essential Keys To Improve How You Communicate With Others. (Join Here) We’ve listed a few tips below from the full article:

1. Before sending that memo or email, re-read it – at least twice. You may find it helpful to read it out loud. Fix any errors you find. As you review what you wrote, ask yourself, “Will this be clear to the recipient?” If the answer is no, then make revisions to convey the information clearly. Always review what you wrote before firing it off.
2. When you approach someone with instructions or other relevant information, don’t assume they know the context of what you’re talking about. For example, the following question is very ambiguous: “You know that thing we were talking about the other day?” The other person may think you’re referring to one thing when you’re actually talking about something entirely different. Always provide context and be very specific, as in the following example: “You know how we were talking about marketing with social media at the status meeting on Tuesday morning?”
3. When asking someone to do something for you, be very specific. State exactly what deliverables you want and by when you expect them.
4. Don’t assume your listener “got” what you said. Always ask, in a nonthreatening manner, if they understood. If they tell you they didn’t quite get everything, or if you see confusion in their eyes, then repeat or rephrase what you just said. Don’t leave until you’re certain they got it.

To read the remainder of the article with all 50 TIPS, simply go to the Top 1% website and join for FREE:  http://www.top1percentclub.com/

*Once you join Gail’s Top 1% Club and login, if you click on the left sidebar, under “Articles” and then go to the category “Employee Development”, you will see my article titled “Learning how to Earn a Play-check instead of a Pay-check!”

Enjoy!

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It’s that time of year again, when all of us start thinking about the upcoming NEW YEAR and begin the process of identifying our New Years Resolutions.  I have some ideas for you that are not the typical mainstream resolutions like losing weight, eating healthier, making more money, getting more clients, spending more time with your loved ones, etc.

No, my ideas involve a strategy that most people don’t think about very often; at least not as a “strategy” and that is:

QUITTING!

Hear me out as this is very important to your New Years Success…

Every new project, hobby, or goal always begins with a lot of enthusiasm and excitement.  Then, as time goes on, it gets harder and harder and, of course, less and less fun.  When the harder increases the fun decreases on your project or goal, you seriously start to question yourself as to whether or not it’s worth the hassle to press forward.

The Secret to Massive Success is “Quitting“!  That’s right, you heard me, quitting is the key to success.  Winners quit fast, quit often and quit without guilt.

One of my mentors, Jack Welch, of GE understood this concept very well and his adage was:  “If we can’t be #1 or #2 in an industry, we must get out.”

Now, why did Jack feel so strongly about this.  Simple, he realized early in his career that if a project (product, idea, division) can’t be #1 or #2, then it’s time to quit that project because it is essentially sucking resources, capital, focus, time, and energy from the rest of the company.  Jack freed the resources from dead-end projects so they could be used in other areas where they could be #1 or #2.

Believe it or not, quitting is a great strategy to manage your life, your career, your goals, and even your relationships.  The key, however, is to know what to quit and what NOT to quit.  So here are a few tips from my favorite author, Seth Godin, in his book, “The Dip:  A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (And When to Stick):

• Understand the Dip exists in every project or goal you start.  The Dip is the long slog between starting and mastery.  The Dip is the long stretch between beginner’s luck and real accomplishment.  For example, the difference between an amateur tennis player and a pro isn’t inborn talent — it’s the ability to push through the moments where it’s just easier to QUIT (those periods are known as the dip).  You see, the Dip creates “scarcity” and scarcity creates value.  The Dip is your secret to success, because the bigger and deeper the dip is, the more success you will have. For example, becoming at attorney isn’t easy; 8 years of education and of course sitting for and then passing the dreaded bar exam.  The dip is steep and there is an innate barrier between those who try and those who succeed.  The bigger the dip (big barrier), the more success you will have and most likely the more money you will make.  If becoming an attorney were easy, everyone would do it, right?  Now, let’s look at the opposite.  Something with a small dip.  Getting a job at McDonald’s as a cashier.  Small dip.  Just about everyone could do this job with a little training.  That’s why the pay is low because there are no barriers.   When making important decisions in your life, think about how long and big the dip is.  When it comes to making money and earning a living, the bigger the dip, the more money you will make.
• Do not be a Serial Quitter. A serial quitter starts many things and quits when the “going gets tough” and accomplishes very little.  You’re better off sticking with one project/goal and working through the dip than you are starting multiple projects/goals and quitting when things get hard.
• Know when you’re in the “Dip”.  Simply being aware that you’re in the middle of the dip is the key to getting through it.  As soon as you find yourself wanting to “quit”, you’re probably in the deep part of the dip.  Quitting when you hit the dip is a bad idea.  It’s human nature to quit when it hurts, but that doesn’t make it a good idea.
• The Real Success goes to those who Obsess. It’s true that we’ve been taught we should diversify, but diversification usually doesn’t lead to “mastery”.  It’ leads to mediocre.  A woodpecker can tap 20 times on a thousand trees and get nowhere or he can tap 20,000 times on one tree and get dinner.  Which one sounds better to you?  So when considering a new project or goal, think about what would happen if you got through the dip.  If it’s worth getting to the other side, then you should “stick” and not “quit.”
• Strategic Quitting is the Key to Success.  Of course, you shouldn’t start a project or goal that you don’t believe you can make it through the dip.  You’re better off not starting in the first place and cutting your losses.  It’s easy to get all excited about learning a new sport, but it’s quite another to stick with it when it gets increasingly difficult.  So have the foresight to think about what projects or goals you are starting in the first place.  Once, however, you do start a project and realize you can’t be #1 or #2, then you want to strategically quit that project because if you don’t it’s going to suck your time, money, energy and resources from something else you could be #1 or #2 at.  Remember what I said earlier:  “Winners quit fast, quit often and quit without guilt.”
• Quit at the right time.  Unfortunately, most people don’t have the guts to quit.  Sometimes, when faced with the Dip, instead of quitting, we get mediocre.  Bad idea.  To be a superstar, you must do something exceptional.  Average is for losers and you deserve better than average.
• Identify the Long-Term Benefits. When you start a project or goal, begin by identifying the long-term benefits of getting through the dip.  If you skip this step, then when the short-term pain comes…and it will…you’ll have that natural reflex to want to quit.  Don’t.
• Quit if you’re on a dead-end path.  I quit the legal field in 1999 because I realized it was a dead-end for me.  I kept doing the same thing and wasn’t getting anywhere.  Working in a 9-5 job is very limiting because you are not leveraging your time.  So if you find yourself on a dead-end path, then quit. Especially if the reward at the end of the dip isn’t worth it or if you simply don’t have the time, passion or resources for it.  Quit.
• Don’t Cope.  Coping sometimes sounds like a good idea when we’re in a situation we don’t want to be in, so we muddle through it.  Don’t cope, quit.  Coping wastes your time and keeps you from missing other opportunities you could be excelling at.

Case Study of a Quitter:  Michael Crichton

Crichton was one of the most popular writers in the world, he has sold over 200 million books. You probably know a few of his books such as “Jurassic Park“, “State of Fear“, and “The Andromeda Strain.”  His books have been translated into thirty-eight languages and thirteen have been made into films.

However, at one point Michael Crichton acted very courageously when he “quit” the medical field.  You see, Crichton quit when he was on his way to a career at the top of his profession.  When he gave up medicine, he had already graduated from Harvard Medical School and done a postdoctoral fellowship study at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies.  He gave all of that up and became an author instead.  The bottom line was Crichton really didn’t have the stomach for cutting people open so he quit.  Even though he did make it through the dip (where a lot of others quit in), he realized when he got to the other side that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life doing something he didn’t enjoy because of his pride and ego.

• If Michael can quit, so can you.
• What do you need to quit now, so you can focus your efforts elsewhere?
• What shouldn’t you even start in the upcoming New Year?
• When you do start something, as long as it’s not a dead-end, don’t quit.  Especially when you’re in the Dip.

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As we reflect on our lives, we see we have a lot to be thankful for.  I see so many people giving back during these harsh economic times and it makes me feel happy and  proud for the kindness and generosity of our fellow human beings.  As I was watching a television special last night, “A Year with Katie Couric” in which Katie reviewed all of the past years’ news stories, there was a segment on “heroes”.  I realized that now more than ever we have “everyday” heroes that don’t have much themselves, but are still willing to give of their time, talent or treasures to help others.

So I’m asking you to think about ways you can give back to your community for the upcoming New Year…

I’ve been thinking about that since yesterday and I realized that I do give back to my church home (where I receive my spiritual food) as far as tithing, but I want to give back and really help other human beings solve the problems that confront them.  So I thought about my skills, my background, my passions, and my mission statement and this is what I came up with.

I wanted to help “women” to be more independent, more self-sufficient and happy.  Given my 15+ year background in the legal field, my love of the law, and my past (I was in an abusive  marriage for many years in my 20′s), I realized that because I overcame that “problem”, that I can help other women with this issue.

So I did some searching on Google and I am filling out an application right now to be a volunteer at an organization in Maryland, called “The House of Ruth“.  The House of Ruth began in November of 1977, when a courageous band of women joined forces, united by their vision and determination to stop the emotional, physical and sexual abuse of victims.

I have a passion for this topic/issue/problem because I was in this situation myself and I know what it takes to leave that kind of relationship.  I had 3 small children and it wasn’t easy financially or emotionally.  I am volunteering to work in the legal clinic.

So I want you to start thinking about how you can “give back to your community” in the next year.  Not just by writing a check (which we all should be doing), but really helping someone overcome a problem that you’ve overcome in your life.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What major problem in my life have I overcome?
• What am I passionate about?
• What hurts my heart when I think about it?
• What problem can I help others solve?

Once you reflect on your answers, then you’ll know “who” you came here to help.  Just do a google search and look for organizations in your area; also ask around to friends and colleagues.

I was watching Joel Osteen a couple of weeks ago on his weekly television show and he said no matter how bad we think things are, there is always someone suffering more than we are and if we change our perspective and start focusing on all that we have and become grateful, then we become a victor instead of a victim.

You are not a victim.  Chelsea Clinton said in an interview on Rock Center last week that her grandmother’s core adage was that it’s not what happens to you in life, it’s what you do with it.  Chelsea is now giving back in a BIG way!

So look at your trials and tribulations and turn them into a blessing for someone else.

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*NOTE:  FREE GIFT OFFER AT THE END OF THIS BLOG POST*

These days you might not have to “quit your job” as there’s a good chance you might be laid off, fired or asked to take extended periods of furlough (leave WITHOUT pay).  However,  if you’re in a job that you hate, despise, resent, or simply one that you are only there to pick up a paycheck, then what you need is a good “exit strategy.”

I exited the corporate world in 2000 when I was given the pink slip at a law firm I worked at.  They told me they were “restructuring the department” I was in and that was it.  At that time (2000) I had been in the legal field 17 years, was absolutely miserable, and was there because I had 3 young children to support being a single mom and didn’t feel I had many other options.  I was there simply to pick up a paycheck as my heart was not in that job.  The biggest obstacle I had was that I didn’t know what else I wanted to do.

I do believe that if we are working in a job that does not involve us using our God-given gifts, then the Universe will create a  situation to help us get back to our true path.  Your true path is where you take your gifts and you share them with the world.

You have a special gift?  Yes, you…

That is the absolute truth.  In fact, you may have several gifts.  The question is – are you using your gifts and sharing them with the world or are you hiding them?

I don’t know what your specific gifts are, but you do.  Chances are good, however, that if you’re reading this, you’ve either lost sight of your gifts, buried your gifts, minimized your gifts or traded in your gifts for the safety, security and protection of a job you perhaps despise and a paycheck that comes at a high price.

So here’s the dilemma: The security of a job you hate vs. the unknown of living your true path and sharing your gifts with the world.  It’s a tough one and I struggle with this constantly.  All “solopreneurs” struggle with security vs. happiness.  So if that’s your struggle too, know that you are not alone.  Sometimes our sense of security is tied to a “predictable tomorrow”, but let me ask you this:  Are you feeding your fears or feeding your joy?

If you feel stuck in your job and know that your not living your truth in that job, here are 5 tips on creating an exit strategy to leave that job:

1. Know what it is you really want to be doing – Discover your gifts, your higher purpose and how you can contribute those things to the world.  Many people get stuck on this one.  This was my obstacle too, once I left the legal field; it took me years to figure this out.  Looking back now, however, I can give you a few questions to ask yourself that will help uncover the answer:  What is it that you LOVE to do where you lose all sense of time?  For me, the answer was “writing”.  I loved to write!  When I wrote, 5 hours seemed like 5 minutes.  Your answer is a clue into your gift.  Also, what would you do for “free” if no one was paying you? Once you know the answer to this question, then you just have to figure out how to get paid for it.  Years ago, I took 2 passions I had and figured out how to get paid for it.  They were “writing” and “sitting at the beach”.  Okay, so you probably want to know how to get paid to sit at the beach?  Well, I created a seminar called “Ocean Writing” where participants escaped from their lives and sat at the beach with me and with our “Ocean Writing Journals”.  We did timed writing exercises in our journals that I had created and this helped participants get back in touch with their true selves.  This class was a huge success!  So think outside the box and get clarity about what you want to do BEFORE you “quit your job”!
2. Be Willing to Fall Flat on Your Face - Tom Watson, an American Golfer, once said: “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.” Yet most of us play the avoidance game and we avoid failing.  What if I told you failing is the secret to every successful person.  That’s right…they’ve failed hundreds, if not thousands of times!  They learned what doesn’t work.  You have to put your ego to the side and take risks because if you’re not willing to do that, then you  might as well stay in your safe and semi-secure job and pick up a paycheck till the day you die.  Sorry to be so harsh, but it’s true.  Failure is a BIG part of success.
3. Learn How to Have Fun and Get Paid For It - Yes, I’m talking about “Getting Paid to Play”!  I know this is contrary to what we’ve been taught, however, right now there is a growing tribe around the world of people who are no longer willing to pick up a paycheck just to pay the rent and instead, they want their lives to be more meaningful and larger.  This tribe wants freedom, challenges, variety, out of the box experiences, and most importantly fun!  It truly is a revolution!  Many years ago when my parents were young, starting a business was risky and involved a lot of upfront costs.  Now, however, because of the internet and technology, the old boundaries are being lifted and we can literally create anything we can think of!  For example, Amanda Hocking who is a young writer (26 years old) and was trying to get her paranormal fiction writing published the traditional way; after receiving numerous rejections from all the big publishing houses, Amanda decided to sell her writing as ebooks on Amazon’s Kindle.  Within one year Amanda had sold 1 million copies of her ebooks which sold between $2.99 to $3.99 per copy.  After she had 1 million in sales on her own, then she attracted all the big publishing houses that formerly rejected her.  Right now she has a $2,000,000 offer from a traditional publisher (St. Martin’s Press) to publish four new novels.  Amanda Hocking said in an interview:  “As for the timing, I was waiting for a point where I had enough of a name for myself that I could get leverage to do the kind of deal I wanted. What I mean by that is that I wanted to be “big enough,” I guess, that a publishing house would pull out all the stops and give my book all the promotion, packaging, and editing that writers dream of books getting.”  So Amanda Hocking “failed” many times before she became a success and she is sharing her gifts with the world and is now getting paid to “play”.  Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin, once said:  “I never went into business to make money, but I have found that, if I have fun, the money will come.”
4. Give up the House to Get the Mansion – Yes, sometimes you have to give up the house in order to get the mansion and by that I mean “cutting and minimizing your expenses” so that you have the privilege and freedom to do what you love “until” the money comes in.  Unfortunately, when it comes to doing what you love, following your dreams, and creating a life you love, the money does come, but usually not fast enough.  So, the way around that is to give up some of your luxuries NOW and trade that in for freedom.  Tama J. Kieves, a Harvard Lawyer with a 6-figure salary, left her well-paying corporate job and became a waitress at a local coffee shop to follow her dreams of writing.  For Tama, no salary paid enough to leave her truth behind…so she “left it all to have it all.“  Goethe once said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”  Are the trappings of success preventing you from following your heart, your bliss and as Tama says, “…your vocational nirvana?”  If the answer is yes then it’s time to downsize, simplify, and trade in what tires you for what inspires you!  If you need some inspiration, I suggest you get a copy of Tama Kieves’ book:  “This Time I Dance!  Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love“.  I read this book all the time when my faith starts wavering.
5. Create a Business Around Your Passion (part-time) - I teach an online course called “How to Quit Your Job and Follow Your Dreams” and one of the lessons in that course is to “wean” yourself off of your job.  Just like a baby is weaned off of the baby bottle or the mother’s breast, you have to “wean” yourself off of your job.  Jobs are addicting.  In fact, the longer you’ve been trading dollars for hours the more addicted you probably are.  What happens over the years is you’ve learned “obedience”:  you show up for work, follow instructions and fit in by not making any waves.  Creating a business around your passion means you don’t have a boss and no one is going to tell you what to do.  It’s scary at first and that’s why I have a Life Coach, because left to my own devices, my fears would take over and I’d go back to allowing my fears to control my actions.  So for 8 years I worked in an outside sales job, making 6-figures, and working 20-25 hours a week.  This allowed me the “freedom” to work at my passion (my online business of writing, teaching eCourse, ghostwriting, designing websites, etc) part-time and to build that business.  Now I work at this business full-time; I finally let go of the outside sales job and went solo!  And you can too if you have a little faith in yourself, your talents and are willing to make some sacrifices now to create your dream life.

If you’d like to get a sample chapter from my newest ebook:  “Never Work Again:  6 Secrets to Getting  Paid to Play and Creating Work You Love“, then click here!

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom from the late Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers:

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.  Don’t settle.”

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This is a Guest Blog Post by my Mentor, Tama Kieves, a Harvard Attorney who “left it all, to have it all.”  She took a huge risk and followed her Dreams!  Enjoy…

The Most Significant Choice You Will Ever Make:  Are you Inspired or Tired?

I work with coaching clients every day involved with different stages of creative projects, ruling small countries, creating empires, and finding their own way out of paper bags and into the sunlight. And this much I can tell you. No one is always doing great. I’ve never met anyone who sells every donut in their bakery, cultishly sticks to their writing schedule or has a breakthrough hourly. Most of my clients have some jamming moments in life. And that’s what I hunt for—the moments when the truth prevails.

An Inspired Moment is a Branding Moment

An inspired moment is a branding moment. It claims you, authorizes you, and instructs you. It introduces you to who you really are.

When I coach someone, I’m not looking for years of productivity. I’m not looking for streaks of dragon- breath peak performance.  I’m looking for moments, moments of being inspired. It’s a moment when you knew you were born under a red star and meant to do something outrageous and significant. It’s a moment when you knew you were singularly designed to do your task– to launch a thousand ships with just one talk or a piece of software innovation. It’s a moment when you smiled at the Gods and one winked back.

These inspired moments are real. The inspired moments are the times when you connected with your spirit, your potential, your genius, your love. These were the moments you felt improbably free and complete. These are the moments you felt solid and alive.

The Choice to be Unlimited—An Example

The technology behind living an extraordinary life– is to trust your inspired moments more than you trust in anything else. That’s a revolutionary stance in a culture of hesitation. Most of us are subtly or overtly encouraged to trust our limitations more than our inclinations. But you don’t have limitations. You have limiting beliefs.

Let me offer you an example. To become a professional speaker, I had to get past my limiting beliefs. I’d had a lot of fear. For years, I’d be panting at the thought of speaking, not in excitement, mind you, but more like the cat in a carrier speeding down the highway.

“You see this speck,” said my friend Paula, as she pointed to some pock mark in the wooden table. “That’s your fear about speaking.” I wanted to interrupt her and tell her that no, really, my fear was Godzilla with a toothache, marching through mid-town Manhattan, roaring and crushing skyscrapers like origami. She pointed to the speck again, “that tiny, tiny, nothingness is all it is.”

Then, like magic, I suddenly had the image of a canker sore, a tiny white dot in your mouth that feels like a rock concert in a phone booth, intense and overwhelming.  I got it. The speck wasn’t my identity. It wasn’t the full-time me. It was a loud and angry dot. It felt like all of me at the time. But it wasn’t.  There is another me who speaks. She is pure and clear and connects with the audience, as though she’s reaching across the kitchen table passing the biscuits. She is in her element.

I’m embarrassed to tell you that I’d allowed the angry dot to make my career decisions for years. I sided with the tiny frightened me. I didn’t see it as fear. I saw it as my true bruised and diseased identity, kept under wraps, the one I secretly spoon-fed and soothed in the basement, while people mistakenly praised my abilities.  Psychological experts have coined the term “The Imposter Syndrome,” where high-achieving individuals do not believe in their achievements, and rather feel as though they are scamming the world. I could have been the poster child.

If you’ve ever felt this way, I’ve got news for you. Fear has been scamming you. It’s the fraud. It’s the one in the shiny cheap suit hustling you to believe in its sad portrayal of your possibilities. It’s selling discouragement by the truck loads on every street corner in the world.

Only Your Strength is Real—Everything Else is Practice

This is what I want you to know.  Only your strength is real.

Everything else is just everything else– not nearly as relevant as you think. The wisdom teachings of A Course in Miracles teach that “Only the love is real.” Everything else is fear. Everything else is what’s burning away, passing away, being worked away. Everything else– is what’s in the way of who you really are and what you’ve come here to experience. It’s mist on the mountain, but not the mountain. The truth is real. Love is real. Your inspiration is real. The times you got it right, that’s what’s real.

When you’re not inspired, you’re not in your right mind. The power is off. You’re not plugged into your love. But just because the plug isn’t in the socket, doesn’t mean the electricity isn’t real. You may experience times of disconnection, but disconnection doesn’t mean the power isn’t going to your house.

Still it’s status quo to be suspicious of excitement and dreams. Others see inspiration as just a sugar high of the mind, unsustainable, fluky, and quietly suggest you shouldn’t operate heavy equipment- or your life- while under its influence. There’s a tension that comes into the room when you throw around bright possibilities. Now pessimism, we believe in. Homelessness and cancer and stock market crashes we can sink our teeth into. We trust our cynicism as though it’s made of good sturdy oak. We believe negativity is heedful clarity, not a perversion. We don’t see fears and elaborate anxieties as flights of imagination. We see them as possibilities.

But what about the possibilities of your dreams taking off? Writing a screenplay that Hollywood buys?  Hitting the bestsellers’ list, buying the home of your dreams, starting a foundation that serves millions of individuals for decades to come?  Why are these seen as detours and idles instead of possibilities? “Take it down a notch,” a voice within hisses. Be practical. Be realistic. Be depressed. Be middle of the road.  Be sad. Be “smart.”

Dave launched his new photography business after coming to one of my retreats. He wrote in recently, “This is the best Christmas morning I’ve had in years. And it’s only Nov 18th.” Another client said he heard Broadway show tunes playing in his head as he got ready to do a media interview. Another sold a story and saw dominoes falling into place, click, click, click, a crescendo and culmination, finally, the reason for every one of her degrees and her misadventures. These moments of becoming are real for all time. These are the times you gave yourself a chance. These are the times, when like Goldilocks, you met your destiny– you sat upon your throne and it was “just right.” It was a moment that made you know that everything—your past, your present, and your future—were just right.

When I say only the strength is real, I don’t mean you will never hit challenges. Someone can sizzle on national television, launch an internet business, or sign a string of clients…..and yet still hit bumps in the road or scramble to pay bills for a period. It’s the nature of growing into your full potential. It doesn’t happen all at once.

But do the bills negate the chills?

Do the bumps define the journey– or does the scenery?

Or do you let them cancel each other out like my client Mike who thought “he had to balance out his peak moments” by telling me about the times he didn’t bang the drum. I don’t believe in this balance. I believe in progress. I believe your inspired moments show you who you are and where you’re going.  Everything else is practice.

How will you choose to define your identity and navigate your life? Are you an inspired soul of promise who has moments of disconnection? Or are you a “loser” who just “got lucky” for a moment before falling back into a birthright of pain?  It’s the most significant choice you will ever make. You make it not only for yourself, but for all of humanity.

I’ll tell you to remember what you knew when you were on fire, not when you were tired.  Stay faithful to what you knew when you were most alive. Those are your diamonds. Everything else is an angry or fearful dot.

I don’t know about you, but when I leave this planet, I’m taking the Roman Candles in my heart with me. I’m taking the diamonds. I’m taking the love. I’m taking the truth. I’m not taking the moments where I didn’t hit my note. I’m taking the moments where I did.

 

Tama

P.S. I have a self-loving suggestion for you: if you want daily inspiration, motivation, and reminders, come join me on my Facebook Fan page. In addition to my daily post, you’ll enjoy the love and intimate sharing that goes on there. Join us now and tell your friends and loved ones, too!

 

©Copyright 2011 Tama J. Kieves. All rights reserved.

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Did you know that Business News magazine said that more millionaires are made online than offline? Do you know why?

Overhead.

Online businesses require very little overhead.  Brick and Mortar businesses are risky because of the huge potential of failure and losses.  If you started an online business and it failed, you would be out very little money ($10 for a domain name and $6.00 a month for a hosting company fee and any paid advertising you decided to invest in).  Other than that, the risk of loss is minimal.

“Get Rich Click!  The Ultimate Guide to Making Money on the Internet” is an amazing book by author Marc Ostrofsky that I suggest you purchase right away!

In his book, Ostrofsky says:

“A website is a virtual equivalent of a brick-and-mortar store.  It can be as simple as a one page site or a complex portal of products, services and affiliate links.”

I started out years ago with a basic website to promote my “offline” seminars that I was giving.  Since then, I’ve been running an online business for almost 10 years and I’ve added many products and services. I earn income from teaching online courses, selling ebooks, coaching women, ghostwriting, building websites, and more!   I have created “multiple streams of online (passive) income.”

And I want you to do the same!

I want you to think of having your own website as “Internet real estate” and once you own that real estate figure out how you can use it to make money.

Being a writer, I’ve always felt that everyone has a “book” inside of them.  I’m gifted at helping women get their ideas out of their heads and onto paper.  You are an expert at something.

The easiest way to start making money online is to write an ebook about a topic you are passionate about and start selling your ebook from your own website.  You can also take that same content, and turn it into an eCourse and add more value to it with things like unlimited eCoaching and support.  The sky is the limit, but the key is to get started!

I’ve been teaching my popular online course “How to Make Your First $1000 Online” for a few years now and this is a great starting point to get your feet wet and to understand what it takes to make money online and how to do it.  You can sign up for my online course by clicking here.

However, if you’re ready to get started and to have your own piece of Internet real estate by creating your very own website and to start making money, then I can work with you to build, design and teach you how monetize your website.  Click here to learn more about my website design packages.

For a limited time (through Thanksgiving 2011!) I am offering anyone who purchases my website design package to take my “silver package” online course, “How to Make Your First $1000 Online” absolutely FREE!

So stop procrastinating and believe Marc Ostofsky, an Internet Millionaire, when he says:

“The Internet is today’s gold rush, creating more millionaires and doing so faster than any other medium in history.”

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Only you can answer that, but here’s something to consider: If you don’t have a 5-year plan, or any plan, then what typically happens to most people is they end up living their life by default. A 15-year study of 3,500 people that was done by the Melbourne University found that the happiest people were those who had “clear-cut goals”; including both short and long-term.

The majority of people do not have written down goals.  So the question is:  do you want to be like most people or do you want to be more successful and happier?  If your answer is “yes” to being more successful and happier, then writing a 5-year plan is highly suggested!  The key though is not to make it complicated or you’ll never do it.  In fact, take out a piece of paper right now and jot down a few goals for the next year, then build from that.

“Writing down an intention puts a nugget in your subconscious which sets you on a path to achieving it” according to Kennon Sheldon, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Missouri in Columbia.  The fascinating part is, once you record your goal then your subconscious mind begins scanning the world in search of people and situations to help you achieve those goals!

A couple of suggestions when writing your 5-year plan is to make your goals “challenging” as well as “specific.”  So stretch out of your comfort zones as to what is possible and dream big!  Getting specific is important because you can’t attract “general” things into your life.  For example, instead of saying, “I want to have more money in savings” be specific and say, “I want to have $200,000 in my savings account in 5 years.”

If you’re ready to go for your dreams, here are a few suggestions from author, Caroline Adams Miller, who wrote, “Creating Your Best Life”:

• Look back and Learn - Write down 5 past accomplishments that will make you feel more confident and competent.  Recapture that feeling of achieving past goals.

• Brainstorm - Let your mind go crazy for 10 minutes and write everything you ever wanted to do in your life without holding back.  Then use this to write a more detailed 5-year plan.

• Reflect on Regret – I’ve heard this also called “regret minimization” which is where you ask yourself, “If I am exactly where I am today in 5 years, which of these goals that I wrote would I most regret not pursuing?”  This will help you prioritize your list.

• Dissect your Top Goals – When reviewing your goals, ask yourself a few questions like:  Is this something I want for myself or that others want for me?  What will achieving it do for me?  How will achieving this goal make my life more fulfilling?  In what ways will it make my life more meaningful?

Doing these exercises will help you gain more clarity, create those nuggets in your subconscious and send out energy into the Universe to help fulfill those dreams of yours.

Once you’ve got your big-picture strategy planned out, then you need to add some action and enthusiasm.  Reading your goals every day or posting them where you can see them really does help keep them in the forefront of your subconscious mind

Now all you have left to do is “live your plan”!  If you’d like some support along the way, I do individual Coaching that can speed up the process and give you the accountability you may be lacking.  I have a Life Coach and every week I have to answer to her…so I get so much more done.  In a Coaching Relationship the goal is to identify where you are now and where you want to be and then take the steps, with the support and guidance of your Coach, to get there!  To learn more about my coaching program, click here.

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We all have “desires of the heart”, so what’s in your heart these days?

The first step in manifesting the desires of your heart is that you first have to “ask” for what you want.  Sometimes we forget that step.  You see, without asking, you will receive no answer.  It’s important, however, to note that before asking comes a sort of “pre-step” which is actually sitting down and figuring out exactly what the desires of your heart are. (We’ll go over that a little later.)

It says in Napoleon Hill’s classic book, “Think and Grow Rich“, that “The imagination is literally the workshop wherein are fashioned all plans created by man.”  “It has been said that man can create anything which he can imagine.”  This means that whatever you can “visualize” as being possible in your life, IF you believe, you can achieve it.

What is a belief? A thought that you repeat over and over until it turns into a belief.  All thoughts carry a vibrational energy to them.  That vibrational frequency is attracting that which you are “thinking” about.  Unfortunately, many of us think about what we don’t want and therefore what we “don’t want” is drawn unto us.

What you currently have and are experiencing in your life is a direct result of the law of attraction.  Just like the law of gravity works whether or not you believe in it, so does the law of attraction.

The Law of Attraction says, “that which is likened unto itself is drawn” or in other words, “you get what you think about whether your want it or not!”

According to Esther and Jerry Hicks, from the book, “Ask and it is Given:  Learning to Manifest Your Desires“:

“Every thought vibrates, every thought radiates a signal, and every thought attracts a matching signal back.”

According to the authors and the teachings of Abraham from this book, there are 3 steps to the law of attraction and learning to manifest your desires.

3 STEPS:

1. You Ask — This is your work and it requires action on your part.  That’s why it’s important to do the pre-step and sit down and write out what you really want in your life.  Everything is possible.
2. The Universe Answers — The answer is given (not your work); Step 2 is the work of the “non-physical”, the work of the “God Force”.  Although all questions are answered and every desire is given, it may be hindered because of your inability to complete Step 3…
3. You Allow it In — This is the application of what’s known as the “art of allowing. It has to do with the matching of the vibrational frequency of your Being to match the vibrational frequency of that which you desire.  So unless you are in the receiving mode, then your questions and desires will not be answered or fulfilled (they were heard, but because your vibrations are not a match, you are in essence, not letting them in.)

So, let’s review… you only have 2 steps, the asking part and the allowing part.  Seems pretty straight-forward, right?

It truly is, but here’s where most of us get hung up and these are the things that actually prevent us from manifesting the desires of our heart:

• Telling your story.  For example, the “I’m broke story.”  You cannot continue to point out the absence of something you want without holding yourself in resistance to that which you want.  So you need to stop talking about the story of “what is” if you want something to change.
• Forgetting the time-gap - Often we ask for something we want and because there is a time gap from the time we ask to the time we receive, instead of focusing our attention purely on the desire itself, we go back to the “lack of” the desire and then we end up attracting that.  When you are more aware of what you don’t want, then what you do want cannot come into your life.
• Your Emotions – Our emotions will actually tell us exactly what is going on when it comes to the law of attraction.  If we are feeling bad we are not in alignment with what we want; if we are feeling good about it, then we are in alignment with our desires.
• Trying to Control your Thoughts — Instead of trying to “force” or “control” your thoughts, try simply reaching for a good feeling about that which you desire and that will guide your thoughts in a more natural way.

So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write down 3 things you want in your life.  It can be for material things or a situation to improve, a relationship or a health issue.  Write it down now.

Remember, you only have 2 jobs to manifest your desires (and you just completed the first job, which is asking.)  Now your second job is to “allow” and how do you allow your desires in?  By focusing on the desire (not the lack of it in your life) and to reach for good feelings as a way to guide your thoughts back to the desires of your heart.

Repeated thoughts = Beliefs.

Beliefs = Manifestation of our Desires.

I’ll end with a beautiful quote from Buddha:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow; our life is the creation of our mind.”

If you would like some help manifesting your desires, my individual coaching programs can help get you back on the path to identifying and then attracting your desires.  Take a look at my monthly coaching programs and let me know if I can be of assistance:

http://www.becomea6figurewoman.com/life-coaching/

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Would you like to cash in on selling your own eBook or eCourse online?  Selling eBooks and eCourses is a very profitable and easy way to get started making money online.  Let me explain…

Years ago, it was my dream to publish my book with a traditional “publisher” and see my books in bookstores everywhere.  In fact, in the early 90′s I sent out a manuscript (“Woman Take Hold of Your Power‘)  to about 50 Agents and/or publishers, only to receive back dozens of “rejection letters”.  Then one day the phone rang and it was a BIG New York Publisher.  I was so excited, I figured my persistence and due diligence had finally paid off.

The man on the other end of the line introduced himself and then asked me some questions about what “credentials” I had to write this book.  In other words, he was looking for a Ph.D., after my  name.  I told him I had something better than a Ph.D., that I had “life experience” and that everything I wrote in that manuscript was from what I had lived.  He thanked me for my time and said that the writing was very good, however, because the publishing world is very competitive, that he couldn’t publish my manuscript without some credentials.  Mainly because it was a “self-help” book for women.

That phone call changed my life!  Up until that point, I really didn’t know how good my writing was.  Consequently, the NY publisher gave me the acknowledgement and validation that I needed at that time in my life.  I didn’t care that he wasn’t going to publish my book, because I knew my writing was good enough to “get” published, so I carried on with my dream.  I didn’t let that little speed bump stop me from my dream of making a living with my writing!

After a lot of research, I realized that it was much more profitable to write eBooks (and/or eCourses) and sell them on my own.  It was called “digital” publishing…no AGENT, no PUBLISHER required!  I did it myself!

And today I can tell you…I’ve made thousands and thousands of dollars from my writing without having an actual book in the bookstore.  I make my money by selling my own eBooks and eCourses!  This way I get to keep 100% of the profits myself (instead of $1 per book!) and I can charge what I think is a fair price for the value I deliver (which is alot more than what a publisher could sell it for).

The profit margins are slim when it comes to making money with a traditional publisher as most of the profits are eaten up in producing the physical book and marketing the book by the publisher…and of course the commissions for the Agent and the Publisher.  I didn’t want to work that hard to maybe make $1 or $2 per book!  I always remind my students:  I am ambitiously lazy!  So how could I make money from my writing, with the least amount of effort?

Ebooks and ECourses

And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last decade…sharing my knowledge, gifts and writing with the world through my eBooks and eCourses!  And guess what?  You can do the same.

You don’t have to be traditionally published to sell a lot of ebooks, and you don’t have to be A-List famous, either.  And you don’t need “credentials”, all you need is an authentic story and expertise in the topic you’re selling information about.

Case Study:  Amanda Hocking, 26 year old Self-Published Millionaire!

Amanda Hocking is 26 years old and has 9 self-published books to her name, and sells 100,000+ copies of those ebooks per month via Amazon’s Kindle. She has never been traditionally published.

At $3 per book at the Kindle store – Amanda Hocking makes a lot of money from her monthly book sales. In fact, there was publisher that basically said “…there is no traditional publisher in the world right now that can offer Amanda Hocking terms that are better than what she’s currently getting, right now on the Kindle store, all on her own.  Here’s the link to one of her eBooks, Virtue:  A Fairy Tale, at Amazon.

Now Amanda Hocking is a “fictional writer”, but it doesn’t matter.  The point is she has no credentials, was never published before and it’s been reported by USA Today that her sales have exceeded $450k for the month of January 2011 alone!

Have I got your attention yet? I hope so, because if you’re struggling to get by, living paycheck to paycheck, there is another way.  And you don’t have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars starting a brick and mortar business or purchasing a franchise.  All  you need to do is take your expertise and knowledge and transform it into an eBook or eCourse.

Here are your choices:

1. You can figure it out on your own and make lots of mistakes and spend valuable time, money and energy without a roadmap or a Mentor; or
2. You can take my 6-week guided online course that will walk you through the entire process!  I do my “group” online courses only 4 times a year for my eCourse: “How to Make Your First $1000 Online“.

If you’d like to learn from someone who has been making a living online for almost a decade, then I invite you to sign up now and receive my 3 Special Bonuses that I just posted on my site.

How to Make Your First $1000 Online

I look forward to helping you sell your own eBooks or eCourses online and create a new income stream that can literally be started overnight!  Sign up NOW!

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Let’s face it, women are born multi-taskers.  Ask a man to throw in a load of laundry and start dinner and he’ll probably respond, “And you want me to start dinner too?”  That’s because men’s brains are compartmentalized and women’s brains are not.  All the wiring is connected in a woman’s brain and this can be a blessing and a curse.  The curse is that we try to do too much (i.e., multi-tasking), but can often end up spinning our wheels and burning out. Time Management strategies for women is the answer.

I love what Timothy Ferris, the author of one of my favorite books, “The 4-Hour Workweek” says about being busy:

“Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding the few critically important but uncomfortable actions.  The options are almost limitless for creating “busyness”:  You could call a few hundred unqualified sales leads, reorganize your Outlook contacts, walk across the office to request documents you don’t really need, or fuss with your Blackberry for a few hours when you should be prioritizing.”

So the big question is:  Are you busy or are you productive?

Peter Drucker, who has written more than 30 books including, “The Practice of Management”, in which Drucker developed “Management by Objectives” (MbO), a management concept based on objective-setting and self-supervision, saids:  “What gets measured gets managed.”

Unfortunately, most people believe being busy means they are getting things done, but this is often not the case.  I’ll use myself as an example.  I’ve run an online business part-time for about a decade now, however, this year, I made the leap to running my online business full-time and eliminating my outside sales job.  It was a difficult transition and it seemed like I got more done when I had less time.

The reason I got more done when I had less time was two-fold and had to do with my lack of time management strategies:

1. I was busy, but not effective. Being effective is doing the things that will bring you closer to your goals.  Busy for me was checking emails 10 times a day, answering my phone regardless of whether it was personal or business, playing my favorite game on my phone “Words with Friends” and meeting my girlfriends for lunch.  No wonder I wasn’t getting anything done.  I had too much time, no specific goals and no accountability.  Bad combination.  So what I did to fix this problem was hire a life coach who worked with me “gently” to solidify my business goals, eliminate the busy-ness (unimportant tasks) and be accountable to.  My goal daily is to have 4 productive hours a day and to be effective.  So the tasks I work on now are those that bring me closer to my goals.  Things I had to eliminate:  the cell phone goes in the other room on vibrate while I am working in my office, no “Words with Friends”, I meet girlfriends at the end of the day for happy hour instead of lunch which disrupts my work flow, and I no longer check emails 10 times a day; instead I check them 4 times a day and that works for me. *Note: I strive for progress, not perfection.
2. I had too much time and no deadlines. This is a very important concept:  “A task will swell in (perceived) importance and complexity in relation to the time allotted for its completion.”  It’s the magic of the imminent deadline.  It’s called “Parkinson’s Law” and it’s true that when you have a shorter deadline, the pressure force you to focus on execution.

So here are my Time Management Tips for Women who do too much:

• Sit down and write out very specific business and personal goals for the next 6 months and read this daily;
• Specify exactly how many productive hours of work you want to achieve per day and commit to that;
• Identify those unimportant “busy” tasks that prevent you from being productive and efficient and ELIMINATE them!
• Find an “Accountability” partner; I highly recommend my Life Coaching program, however, if money is an issue right now then simply enlist a friend or colleague to keep each other accountable for your weekly goals;
• Set deadlines for your goals and write them down;
• Create your “to do” list the night before and read it before you go to bed so you have a action plan when you get up and are not subject to the whims of the day;
• Always have 2 items on your to do list that you absolutely, positively must get done no matter what comes up.

Here are a few questions Timothy Ferris suggests you ask yourself daily:

1. If you had a heart attack and had to work two hours per day, what would you do?
2. If you had a second heart attack and had to work two hours per week, what would you do?
3. If you had a gun to your head and had to stop doing 4/5 of different time consuming activities, what would you remove?
4. What are the top 3 activities that I use to fill my time to feel as though I’ve been productive?
5. Learn to ask, “If this is the only thing I accomplish today, will I be satisfied with my day?”
6. Put a post-it note on your computer screen or set an Outlook reminder to alert you at least 3 times daily with the question, “Are you inventing things to do to avoid the important?”
7. DO NOT MULTITASK!
8. Use Parkinson’s Law on a Macro and Micro Level.

So to sum it up, multitasking may be your curse.  If you prioritize properly, however, there will be no need to multi-task.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have been productive just because you are busy 10 hours a day.  Choose your 2 primary goals for the day and do not stop until you get them completed.

Take it from me, divided attention and distractions (even the self-imposed distractions) lead to lapses in concentration, poor results and less fulfillment.

So stop being a woman who does too much, and start being a Woman who knows what she wants, gets the “right” things done, and achieves her goals!

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